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Writer's pictureMatthew Eitzman

Meditation is a not a Selfish Practice

Updated: Apr 16, 2023

Is it selfish to meditate?


After all, meditation entails sitting alone, often with eyes closed to the outside world, and bringing attention to one's personal experience. In addition, meditation does provide a multitude of intrapersonal benefits to the practitioner, including decreased anxiety and depressive symptoms and increased concentration.


But while meditation frequently begins as a self-improvement exercise, its effects are far-reaching and not confined solely to the individual who is meditating.


Meditation increases compassion, defined as concern for the misfortune of others. In one study, the odds of acting to relieve the pain of another were 5 times higher for those who completed an 8-week mindfulness meditation program than for those in a control group (Condon et al., 2014).


But not only does meditation increase the likelihood of helping out someone in discomfort, it also improves the quality of our interpersonal relationships. Through meditation, our ability to stay present is heightened. As a result, we are more attuned to the behavior and emotions of others, instead of getting caught up in our own personal story. In addition, when difficult emotions arise, we can defer judgment and respond in a non-reactionary manner by bringing our attention to the emotions without judgment. If we feel an increased heartbeat that generally signals an anger response, we can bring attention to the physical sensations of the emotion without the interpretation that "we are angry", letting the physical sensations subside in their own time. This gives us the freedom to interact with others in more prosocial ways aligned with our values. We can still stand up for ourselves if necessary, but the conflict-oriented nature of anger, or any other negative emotion, is no longer present, allowing us to engage the interaction fully and non-reflexively.


Even a practice like Loving-Kindness meditation, in which positive affirmations are intentionally directed towards oneself, is not a selfish act. As the practice develops, the well-wishes are re-directed towards a loved one, and later towards all living beings. By first acting as the recipient of loving intention, we are more capable of truly intending love for others.


By meditating, we discover many of the mind's tendencies that are detrimental to our mental well-being. We are also more attentive to the ways in which the mind can negatively influence our interactions with others. As a result, we develop the ability to live in a manner not only harmonious with ourself but with others as well.

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